Why Slowing Down Can Feel So Uncomfortable.
And why that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing it wrong.
We talk a lot about slowing down.
Rest more. Switch off. Be present. Take time for yourself.
It sounds simple enough. But what we don’t talk about nearly enough is this:
Sometimes, slowing down feels really uncomfortable.
You finally get a quiet evening and find yourself reaching for your phone. You sit down to rest and immediately think about everything you should be doing. You try to take five minutes for yourself and your mind suddenly feels louder than it did before.
So instead of feeling restored, you feel restless.
If that sounds familiar, there’s a reason:
- We’ve become very good at being busy
- Modern life rewards momentum.
We move from work to home, messages to emails, school runs to appointments, social plans to life admin. Often filling the gaps in between with scrolling, podcasts, television or something else demanding our attention.
Even wellbeing can become another thing to accomplish.
Drink the water. Take the supplements. Get the steps. Meditate. Journal. Exercise. Sleep eight hours. Complete the morning routine. At what point did taking care of ourselves become another performance?
When we’re used to constant stimulation, removing it can feel strange.
Stillness creates space and in that space, we might notice how tired we actually are. How tense our shoulders feel. The thoughts we’ve been avoiding. Or simply how unfamiliar we’ve become with doing absolutely nothing.
That doesn’t mean slowing down isn’t working. It might mean you’re finally noticing.
This is where The Modern Method begins, The Modern Method isn’t about giving you another routine to perfect.
It starts with something much simpler:
Notice. Question. Choose.
- Notice what’s going on.
- Question what you actually need.
- Choose something that supports you.
That’s why we created The Modern Method.
The exercise isn’t designed to tell you what your wellbeing should look like. It’s there to help you step outside of the noise for long enough to consider what it could look like for you.
And some of those questions might feel surprisingly difficult to answer.
- What makes me feel good?
- Where am I giving too much of myself?
- What do I need more of?
- What could I do less of?
- When do I actually feel like myself?
We spend so much time responding to what is happening around us that we don’t always stop to ask what is happening within us.
You don’t need to force the answer, If you’ve started your Modern Method and found yourself staring at a question thinking, I actually don’t know, leave it there. Come back to it.
Pay attention over the next few days. Notice the moments when you feel lighter. Notice what drains you. Notice the people, places, rituals and environments that make you feel more like yourself.
Your answers don’t have to arrive in one sitting.
In fact, the noticing might be the most useful part. Start smaller than you think Slowing down doesn’t have to mean an hour-long meditation, a silent retreat or suddenly becoming someone who has a perfectly curated morning routine.
It can be much less dramatic.
- Put your phone down while you drink your morning coffee.
- Take three slower breaths before getting out of the car.
- Step outside for five minutes without taking anything with you.
- Use scent as a cue to shift from one part of your day into another.
- Sit down without immediately finding something to occupy yourself.
And when your brain tells you that you should be doing something? Notice that too.
The aim isn’t to become brilliant at slowing down. It’s to become better at recognising when you need to.
Your wellbeing should work with your life, This is one of the principles behind our Wellbeing Library.
We don’t want to give you an endless list of things you need to add to your life in order to feel better. Quite the opposite.
The Library is a collection of tools, ideas and practices designed to help you understand yourself a little better, then take what feels useful and leave what doesn’t.
Because your version of wellbeing might look completely different to somebody else’s. And it should. You don’t need the perfect routine, You don’t need to follow every wellness trend. You don’t need to overhaul your life.
Sometimes the most useful place to begin is simply creating enough space to hear yourself again.
Slowing down might feel uncomfortable at first, Stay curious about that feeling. You might be surprised by what it has to tell you.
Continue with The Modern Method
If this resonated with you, return to it.
Don’t worry about completing every section perfectly. Pick one area that feels important right now and start there.
Notice. Question. Choose.
Small changes., Made intentionally, On your terms. The Modern Hedonist Way.
Love Laura x
